Make love not war by loving yourself!

The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

I have been super busy the whole week. It has been a challenging week. I could compare my work for making a snow ball. I have been rolling it and it has been getting bigger and bigger and it has started to get so big that it is difficult to control it. At the moment it is just a perfect size to make a snowman!! J I feel that I want to do as much as I can while I am here but I have to know my limits. I can’t be doing everything and being everywhere. That is what I have been doing the last weeks and I have started to feel it. I have been tired and frustrated. Also I have been feeling slight lack of motivation due to fact that I am burning myself up. I am trying to give too much. I realize that.

Part of happiness is to have time for yourself and I have been ignoring my own needs and that is affecting me. I have been concentrating doing things for other people which is good but the most important person into the world is me. It sound selfish but it is really important to understand!  If I am not satisfied who I am, how I feel and what I do, it is difficult to give anything to anyone. How can I love someone if we don’t love myself? How can we accept people how they are if we don’t except ourselves the way we are?

So the first person you should help, if you want to help, is yourself.

We just discussed in one of our meetings that running away from home, from work; from marriage is not the answer for problems. The problem, in most of the cases, is the person himself and we can’t runaway from ourselves. We make all our problems, everything is in our heads. Wanting to make good begins from a person himself, he or she needs to be happy and in harmony with himself before he or she can help others. To find a solution to any problem, we should start looking it inside us. Most of the problems are in our head like the solutions.

More positive we are fewer problems we will have. Attitude makes a difference.

I feel that some of these people here are not with pure heart just helping other people, they are running away from themselves and that is affecting other people who are here sincerely to give help to them who are in need.

I have had lots of challenges during this week (Notice challenges not problems! J) and few of them have been relationship issues and position issues. Some people here are not happy of their position…what??? People are following the guidance of Jesus and I don’t think that HE thinks that we should put our own interests over the needs for other. We are working here, we don’t get paid and we are not looking for promotions. We are here to help the people in Sierra Leone, what does it matter which position we hold??? We should be here for one goal. One goal only, the goal to make things better but I feel that all of us are not, which is sad but we are not living in a perfect world!!

Really???  

We all have some own interests but we should concentrate working for the poor and sick people, am I being stupid to think that?

Should I also start complaining that the food is not good or the working hours are affecting my social live. Or I should be the Captain because I have the license. NO!! We are in Africa and we are here to provide hope and healing for the local people. This is not a holiday and we are not here to get glory and to have a great career with all the benefits!! Although this is a really nice place for all us and maybe it is too nice! People forget why they are here and for some of these people this is a great getaway.  Mercy ships provide such a good environment for the crew that it is easy to lose yourself from reality.

We should make time for ourselves and pursue for our own interests that we could help these people more but we shouldn’t forget why we are here!

Anyway the topic for all this was the importance to spend some time with yourself and remind yourself what you are doing and why you are doing what ever you are doing. What you want to be and how happy you actually are. It is really important to explore yourself and do things that make you happy. Have some quality time with yourself. Find all the solutions for your problems inside you. Look hard and you will find the answers in you. It is NOT important what you do, where you are or what is your position. It is important what you think about yourself and how happy you are what ever you do.

It is NOT important what other people think about you, it is important what YOU think about yourself!! –Ville Patrikainen

Big part of happiness is to have time for yourself and you have to make that time or you get unhappy and you burn out. We have to be selfish to be happy and to be able to help other people. We have to start loving ourselves to be able to give love and make love.

LOVE…what amazing thing!!

What the world would be without love?  

Nothing.

Little bit out of topic but love is good, love is everything. Love is HAPPINESS.

Let’s make love not war by loving ourselves. J

"Where your pleasure is, there is your treasure: where your treasure, there your heart; where your heart, there your happiness."
Saint Augustine

Why the world sometimes sucks?

“Work is either fun or drudgery. It depends on your attitude. I like fun”.-Colleen C. Barrett

It’s been a hard week. Emotionally, physically and mentally but extremely satisfying in every aspect! The harder I work the better I feel, so it is true that more we give the more we get.

Anyway, after the garbage fiasco we have encountered few other challenges like our diving operation on Friday. Wow, the divers jumped into garbage, literally. Our water around the ship was covered with all kind of dirt, dead rats, food waste and some other garbage but we had to clean our intakes. Luckily it wasn’t my turn to dive but I feel sorry for the guys who did it. Good work. 

Also I did some safety rounds and noticed some defects in our Galley which need urgent attention, so that will be next week’s huge challenge. On a ship like this which is in a place like this, the challenges just don’t stop. Everyday some new surprises appear to challenge us but I have notice that people here give up. They stop caring…During this week I have tried to get people understand that they just can’t give up, we have to keep on trying to make things better. People think here that it’s okay to work in dirty conditions with broken tools, we are in Africa. TIA (“this is Africa” from the movie Blood Diamonds). NO!!!! and NO!!! Even the Europeans and Americans think that. If we don’t show example, why we are here then? I thought that we are here to make a difference, to help these people to develop and grow. I know that we aren’t here just to live like them and accept things how they are. We are here to change things!!!!! Nothing is going to happen if we, the people who have come here to make difference, stop caring. We have to pursue for excellence in all areas. Small things make a difference and a several small things make a change.

That is how I think.

“You really can change the world if you care enough”.-Marian Wright Edelman

I have felt frustrated because I feel like I am the only one here with all this big ideas to change things. People are with me but they just don’t have the FIRE in them to make things happen. Why they are here then???? Waste time? Nothing else to do? For an adventure? Maybe, I don’t know. Or maybe they also have felt frustrated and haven’t had enough strength to do anything and they have just stopped caring.

I have noticed that some of the people here just do the minimum hours, complain how things are here and do noting about it. Wow. I don’t understand the mentality that something here is someone else responsibility and noting can be done because it has been always like that. I feel…disappointment. That mentality makes my work harder and it affects the life’s of these people here in Sierra Leone.  The less we complain and more we do, the more we will help. That is why we are here. TO HELP!

Amazing, that is the world what people are doing here so don't get me wrong. So many good things happen here everyday but I just feel that we could do more.

I am privileged to work with these amazing people but sometimes its good to shake things up and that is what I am doing, I am trying to give these wonderful people more strength to do what they do and I think and I know that they are doing amazing work!! J

“Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can't be done”.-Bo Bennett

Yesterday I needed a break too, so we went on a beach but before we got there we had to take a taxi or kind of local taxi, boda, boda. First we had to negotiate a price which took an hour because some of our group members were not happy about the “service” and the price. I was amazed but anyway the driver didn’t know were the beach was. That was ONE of the first issues and then of course the price. We were fighting over few dollars and we had a group of 14. Funny! How people find energy to fight over things like that but when it comes to work they are tired. J  Finally we found a solution and on our way we were. The next challenge was when the cops stopped us and the driver didn’t have a driving license. J Well, he paid the officer. And on our way we were once again…Smoke started to come from the engine which wasn’t a good sign but we continue our journey and we finally got to the beach. We had a great time there, lovely day. On the way back our driver were having lots of problems with the clutch and the gearbox but we were moving ahead anyway. Also on the way back was funny to see when the driver started drink beer while driving!!! I have never seen that before. So the driver didn’t have a driving license, he was drinking, he didn’t know the directions and the vehicle was falling apart. A great taxi ride!!! J  

I had a blast, what a road trip!!! J  

Experiences like that just give us energy, energy to help. All the challenges give me energy, especially when I get over them. Seeing the positive side of things is energy. What ever happens and if we survive from it and can laugh about it, is like a superpower which helps us to make great things.

“Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill”.-W. C. Fields 

If you think that the life sometimes sucks it is because of your attitude. Life is amazing.
Positive thinking is the key to a better world. I am doing my part, what about you?    

NO PAIN, NO GAME

“I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace.”

-Dalai Lama

Yesterday was one the hardest days while here in Sierra Leone. We helped the garbage guys to pick up our garbage. Why we did that, it was because normally when they come, if they come, they just pick up what is appropriate for them. Fair enough.  They don’t get paid and their only income is what they can find from the garbage. The Government is providing this service and they should pay these people. It is not happening. So when they come, they leave most of the garbage in our garbage container which causes some health and smell issues. Not a good thing.

Yesterday we were IN the container, shoveling garbage for two hours, trying to make things better. My hands still smells…It was a crab job.

Which does not kill you, make you stronger! Yesterday was one of those days.

I have been trying to make things better regarding the garbage by calling different people, trying to get things moving and sometimes it has helped but most of the time I got replay that call someone else. Wow, what to do?

I have been trying to talk with the garbage guys and every time they agree to do as I request them to do. Perfect, or not!

Corruption is so deep here that without paying to some one, nothing really happens. So once again, what to do?

Yesterday I tried to find a solution and we fed all the garbage guys and we also offered to help to recycle our cans, that they could get the cans separately to make some money. Once again they agreed to help us, even the manager of the garbage company, who came to visit me agreed. 

The future will tell what the outcome on this matter is…

Trying to find happiness on this feels little bit hard but not impossible. We worked as a team and we had few laughs after all the hard work which brought us together. Challenges and difficulties bring people together and a feeling to be part of a team is one piece of the happiness puzzle.

I was really happy yesterday when I finally got in the shower and got rid of all the dirty, smelly clothes. Happiness is about small things, like a hot shower after a long and hard day or a bed, were you can just lay down and relax after all the challenges.

It’s good to look around and see the small things; the happiness is hiding in and on them. Or if you just listen and you can't hear anything except silence; that is happiness. :)

“Happiness is like a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you”. –Nathaniel Hawthorne 

Sex, drugs and rock n roll - or NOT!!

I have committed to serve here for three months and on those months I have committed not to drink alcohol while onboard or do any immorality acts which mean no sex. So where do I get my pleasures? We can’t consume any alcohol? Here are no really places to shop and the food is really simple rice and meat stuff. Sex is not allowed. So where do we get our pleasures and do we need them for our happiness?

“The essence of philosophy is that man should live that his happiness shall depend as little as possible on external things”. -Epictetus

This blog is about pleasure vs. happiness.

Today we went on a local church for Sunday service. It was a gospel service and there was some preaching and singing. It was an experience. A good one! People got pleasure by getting together for singing and worshipping. After the service we were invited for a lunch in one of our workers home. She made us some local food…interesting experience. J But it was really nice way to spend the Sunday afternoon. We Socialized, ate, walked a little bit and got some sun. It was pleasures but there were some basic elements of happiness.  

People confuse happiness with pleasure all the time, difference between those two is that happiness comes inside us, and pleasure is depended on external stimulates. Happiness can be and should be long lasting; pleasure is usually a short joy.

What I mean about all this is that we can fill our lives with joy, with different pleasures both still be unhappy. Pleasures don’t bring happiness. It might help but it also can be a gateway to unhappiness.

There are so many different types of pleasures like eating, drinking, shopping, having sex…

For example too much eating, too much partying or too much shopping, any of those usually leads to unhappiness.

So where is the line? How much pleasure do we need to be happy or do we need even it for our happiness?

Here on the ship people get together, have dinners together, watch movies, go to the beach and just hung around; chatting. I love that. We don’t have to get drunk to have fun and have hangover on the next day while trying to remember what happened. I feel like I am happier that I can have fun without all the drinking and partying. I haven’t watch TV while being here so that is liberating, I have so much more time to do other stuff like socialize, read, and work out, and so much more. By stimulating myself with different activities I make myself happier. If I would just sit all day, doing nothing and watching TV, I would get unhappy. Don’t get me wrong, I do spend days doing nothing and it can be really relaxing. But to be happy, we have to keep our minds busy, challenge ourselves, socialize and do things that make us happy. We have to understand the difference between pleasure and happiness to achieve real happiness.

We do need pleasures to be happy but we have to choose the right pleasures.

Here the local people don’t have lots of external stimulants to pleasure them and people are happy!! It is amazing to see how people are happy here and I think there are lots of reasons for that. No worries, they socialize, no stress, they have time for themselves; they have time for their families, they live simple lifes. We could learn these thinks from these people.

Simple life brings happiness.

“If you want to be happy, set a goal, commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes”. –Andrew Carnegie

-Simple-

:)

I have a dream!

"Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world." Joel Barker

Working as a leader in a multicultural environment is a challenge. On my team we have people from Russia, U.S.A, Ukraine, Philippines, Germany and different parts of Africa, so it is a mixture of everything. How to get people from different cultures to work for one goal as a team? That is the question I have been dealing in the last few weeks or actually I have been dealing the same problem in the last four years while working on Princess Cruises ships.

I have a dream. I do have a dream. My dream is to help these people and not only the people in Sierra Leone, the people here on the ship.

I have been working to get everybody together by being example and by being there for them. I listen and I am always available. I care.

You block your dream when you allow your fear grow bigger than your faith.

I work by them, and with them, as a team. I encourage them to get better and now we are about to start new training schedule which include different types of training for all. The objective is to give these people skills to handle all types of work no matter what it is.

We created a new group of petty officers. We picked up the most skillful people to lead, share their knowledge, and teach and to be an example.

I am really excited about all this. I feel really good about it, I have been getting good feed back.

Would we be able to get everybody to work as team and share our knowledge beyond the borders?

I belive we can!

I have lots to learn but I also have lots to give and I hope everybody feels the same.

Building a team takes time and effort but I know we on the right track now.

I just said to my team today that we not here just to help the people in Sierra Leone, we are here to help each others and we are here to help ourselves. It is important that we develop ourselves as a human being and also as a worker that we could get more out of lives and we could help others better. The better we are, the better we can help others.

What goes around comes around.

The biggest challenge is the get people motivated and that is my main focus. That is why I want to create different types of training for these people, different jobs. I want them to feel that is fun to work. I want them to feel that they are challenged on their work.  I will try to get them understand the benefits of hard work and the idea of that the better they are, more valuable they will be.

We have about 10 local guys working on our team on deck and on the café break we get together and it have been amazing listen these guys when they talk about the war. Stories bring people together.  Anyway we watched the movie blood diamond few days ago and that movie is about the war in Sierra Leone. On that movie the rebels cut people hands and it actually happened for real. I have seen few of those people here whose hands were cut…wow. Also one of my deck guys was forced to join the rebels when he was 6 years old and he spent 6 years with them.  Now he is about 20 years old.  

The war ended 2002.

So to get all these people together is a challenge.

Challenges bring happiness.

Do we have to be lucky to be happy?

“The more we work, the luckier we get”.-Tero Pilvi

When I was flying here to Sierra Leone I met this Finnish guy on the airport and we started to talk about happiness and later on we changed some thoughts via email and he sent me email saying that I should write about luck. So now I am doing it.

So do we need to be lucky to be happy? I am also doing a documentary about happiness while I am here in Sierra Leone and I just did my first interview yesterday. I asked a question: “Are you happy”? And this local fisherman answered: “No”, because he didn’t have nets to get any fish but he would be happy if he would get those net. So I started to think what do you need to be happy?

We stayed overnight on an island and this local fisher man provided us food, drinks and made us a campfire. I gave him few advices how to do business and how to get customers, he really appreciated to help I was giving him and we talked about happiness. His happiness was depending on fishing nets. With those nets he could get enough money to buy some food, a land to build a house and get his daughter to a school.

So, for happiness we need:

       Food and drinks

       Place to live

       Something to do

       Someone to love

Simple things!

All the rest of the things for happiness come inside us. Happiness is inside us. We just have to find it.

Do we need luck to be happy?

I think we don’t. We make our own luck. The more we work, the luckier we get is a good saying and it is true. We can be happy anywhere if we are provided with basic things which I mentioned earlier but we have to work for our happiness.

When we were on that island yesterday, we ate a simple dinner, we slept on the ground and we drank water. We were HAPPY. We had a nice group of people and we talked about everything between the earth and the sky. It was amazing, it was really good. All our basic needs were satisfied so were able to be happy. That was happiness.

Why we complicate our lives with all the worries and problems? The more things we buy, the more complicate our lives become. We buy a big house, so we have to clean more; we buy lots of clothes so have to wash more. We buy two cars and we have to do maintenance for them and everything cost money. To get all that we have to work more and at the end we are so stressed that we forget what happiness is. We make our life so full of material stuff that we don’t have time to be happy because we have to take care of all that stuff. Why?

The more simple life we have the happier we are.

We have to understand the difference between a pleasure and happiness. Pleasure is depending on external things and happiness is not. The more we pleasure ourselves unhappier we might get. Pleasure is short term solution for sadness for example unhealthy eating. If a person eats unhealthy all the time he or she becomes fat and will have lots of health problems. A good health is a basic for happiness.

Should we buy fewer things to get more time to ourselves and to our families? How much is enough? Does all that stuff  really make us happy?    

These are good questions; we just don’t think about them, we just buy…

We make our own luck, like we make our happiness. We have our own lives and we can make our own decisions. I decide to be happy.

“If you want to be happy, be”. –Leo Tolstoi

The best drug in the world.

"Achievements are built by being available". -Ville

Tonight we had a community meeting and during that meeting so many emotions went through me. Amazing! Today’s topic was “ be available” and it was a story about a man who was walking on the mountains and got robbed. When he was lying half death on the ground the first two people passed by him but the third person helped him. He made sure that the man was taking cared of and he promised to come back. The question was: are you AVAILABLE? The third person was. But why?

Powerful story!

Everyday people here go really deep, I mean really deep into serious issues. It is a journey to be here. I thought I didn’t have any issues but all these things make me feel. I don’t know what but I do feel. It is great to feel, I feel alive.

Coming back to that question am I available and I can honestly say that I am. Then I started to wonder WHY? Why I’m available. I don’t expect to get any reward or I don’t expect to get to the heaven. So why am I doing all this. Is there something wrong with me?  People have actually asked me that question, why I am helping other people. For me it is a stupid question, of course we should help other people, OF COURSE!! We can be selfish, love ourselves and do things for ourselves but at the end the most rewarding is to help others. So why we should help others is because by doing that we are helping ourselves and it is the right thing to do.

That is how I feel in my heart.

I have to admit that I don’t even know the right answer why I am doing this but I just feel that it is the right way to do. Everything here just feels right. I am feeling that I am, at the moment, in the right place doing the right thing. It is amazing feeling. I am high, high on life.

The best drug in the world is to start living. To get high on life!

I have opened my heart and my mind to the world and the world is coming to me.

By being available have given me so much, it’s just awesome. It just is.

Today was the end of the work week so tomorrow we are going camping…me camping? J After all the luxury ships and hotels it is great to go camping. J  It will be great fun, I am sure.